My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
