Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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