he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
