Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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