I should be sponsored by Trojan
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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