honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
