I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
