Me too!
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
