I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
im six kinds of drunk right now
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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