I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
