yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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