my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
