you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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