He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
