the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
