i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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