she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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