Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
