i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
