All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize