I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize