Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
