Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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