You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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