Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Randomize
