Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
