why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
