Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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