He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
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We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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