my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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