All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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