please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
