She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
