He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
