no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
