AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I need water and some morals
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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