I accidentally burped into my bong.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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