Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize