I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go