if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Randomize
