Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.

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  (207): things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety. http://tfl.nu/meos
  Replies (9) Good night (3052) Bad night (597)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.

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  (864): weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps. http://tfl.nu/jawa
  Replies (51) Good night (17825) Bad night (1079)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time

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  (505): Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time http://tfl.nu/wts0
  Replies (9) Good night (779) Bad night (2757)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  I think we should see other people.

  (1-207): View more from Maine

  Already working on it.

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  (207): I think we should see other people. (1-207): Already working on it. http://tfl.nu/a8l6
  Replies (12) Good night (5929) Bad night (1571)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.

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  (330): Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around. http://tfl.nu/7cdc
  Replies (16) Good night (5492) Bad night (924)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.

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  (218): I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot. http://tfl.nu/z5np
  Replies (4) Good night (987) Bad night (2915)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people

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  (231): the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people http://tfl.nu/9os5
  Replies (12) Good night (3992) Bad night (1280)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.

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  (318): I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change. http://tfl.nu/zbgz
  Replies (44) Good night (831) Bad night (3319)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.

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  (302): I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me. http://tfl.nu/pfoh
  Replies (7) Good night (3216) Bad night (885)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....

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  (513): I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know..... http://tfl.nu/0xlu
  Replies (14) Good night (2294) Bad night (585)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful

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  (970): The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful http://tfl.nu/mqfz
  Replies (7) Good night (703) Bad night (353)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Hydrate.

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  (703): I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding.... (202): Hydrate. http://tfl.nu/62ve
  Replies (5) Good night (1161) Bad night (376)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.

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  (203): Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork. http://tfl.nu/n6pn
  Replies (2) Good night (471) Bad night (222)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours

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  (662): His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours http://tfl.nu/j499
  Replies (8) Good night (279) Bad night (736)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.

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  (316): Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember. http://tfl.nu/lmps
  Replies (0) Good night (353) Bad night (235)

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