My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
