Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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