Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
