we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
