dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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