I wish my penis had an off switch
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
