Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
