I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
