Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
