She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
