I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
