Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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