I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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