so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
