you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
How does it feel to date your dad?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
