porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
