Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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