So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
