my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
